Monday, April 21, 2014 (8pm ET / 1am UK)
The newlywed couple of the WWE World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan and his beautiful wife Brie Bella are in the ring to celebrate with the WWE Universe. Then the not too sincere Stephanie McMahon comes to the ring to congratulate the newlywed couple. What’s a beautiful woman Stephanie is!
Oups! Kane music… Kane sneak-attacks Daniel Bryan outside the ring. Kane, not Corporate Kane but the monster heel, the masked “Big Red Machine” Kane delivers an horrific beating to Daniel Bryan. Three “Tombstones”; the first one outside the ring, the second on the steel steps, and the last on the TV commentators’s table. The eternal underdog and overachiever Daniel Bryan is stretchered out for the hospital.
Semi-Final match for the #1 contender spot for the Intercontinental Championship: Sheamus vs. Bad News Barrett
I’m afraid I’ve got some very good news! Bad News Barrett defeats Sheamus. Yes sir! And the audience likes it!
Bray Wyatt schizophrenic boring speech about WWE resident superman John Cena… zzzzz
Mixed Tag Team Match: 3MB & Hornswoggles vs. Los Matadores & El Torito
The midget El Torito PINS Drew McIntyre 1-2-3. LMFAO
The Evolution are back! Fuckin’ good for business! Evolution speech, The Shield entrance… Evolution leaves the ring like cowards just moment’s before The Shield enters it… The Shield blah, blah, blah promoting their Extreme Rules 6-Man Tag Team vs. Evolution. The Shield try to close the distance with Evolution but all the heels backstage came to support Evolution. The Shield had no other choice than to back off.
The pretty Naomi is newlywed to one of The Usos… Lame!
The Usos only needed a few minutes to defeat Goldust & Cody Rhodes. Cody Rhodes leaves the ring frustrated… Ryb-Axel attacks The Usos after the match.
Emma (w/ Santino) vs. Layla (w/ Fandango)
Emma defeats Layla with her own version of the Cobra.
John Cena backstage speech… Skip forward.
Semi-Final match for the #1 contender spot for the Intercontinental Championship: Cesaro (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Rob Van Dam
RVD defeats Cesaro by count out thanks to Jack Swagger interference.
Some brawling between Swagger and Cesaro after the match. It conclude with a giant swing on Jack Swagger.
RVD backstage interview interrupted by Heyman and Cesaro.
Divas Champion Paige vs. Aksana
Paige makes Aksana taps-out with an awesome looking submission hold.
Alexander Rusev (w/ Lana) vs. Sin Cara
Alexander Rusev destroys Sin Cara in a short match.
Rusev perfectly follow the WWE Monster Heel credo. Going on an initial winning streak destroying everyone… Being elevated to main event statut… Being fed to John Cena… Then become a jobber to the star. Khali, Umaga, Vladimir Kozlov, Ryback all followed this road. Kane and Big Show did it back and forth for their entire career.
John Cena vs. the entire Wyatt Family
As voted by the WWE Universe LOL 🙂 Let’s go Cena! Cena sucks!
John Cena wins by disqualification.
Cena was about to win, as usual, pinning Bray Wyatt when the two giant hillbillies attacks Cena. The show finishs with Bray Wyatt’s drunken singing on a beaten, semi-conscious John Cena…