Return on last week RAW
John Cena in-cage speech… Why did I deserve to get my ass kicked last week? “YOU SUCK!” chants… The WWE Universe forced Cena to face all three members of the Wyatt Family. A mixture of cheers and boos. John Cena says that the world doesn’t stand a chance against Bray Wyatt. What? Hitler, Alexander the Great, Napoleon, Genghis Khan all failed in their attempts to conquers the world. Why should Bray Wyatt with his “army” of two unarmed bearded hillbillies could succeed? The world doesn’t stand a chance vs. Bray Wyatt but only superman John Cena stands a chance against Wyatt?!!? Another very very stupid script and WWE storyline.
A chorale of children chanting Bray Wyatt’s favorite song “He got the whole world in his hands” Then Bray Wyatt laughs like a psycho while the children are standing all around the ring wearing sheep masks… John Cena looks desperate.
WWE Tag Team Champion The Usos vs. RybAxel
RybAxel music is so shitty…The Usos win.
Paul Heyman and Cesaro backstage segment. Heyman admits that he is a liar, conniving, and ruthless. But that he leads his clients to the top.
Return on the last week hellish beating received by Daniel Bryan last week courtesy of Kane.
Titus O’Neil vs. Sheamus
O’Neil ambushs Sheamus in a pre-match attack from behind.
Nonetheless Sheamus only need a single Brode kick to defeat Titus O’Neil.
Hugh Jackman (X-Men Wolverine) gettin’ his ass licked by Dolph Ziggler. Then super zero Magneto AKA Damien Sandow dressed as a gay version of The Undertaker. Magneto try to use is not so superhuman power on Ziggler and Jackman. Big surprise! It doesn’t work and Hugh Jackman hiptoss Magneto and Ziggler finish him.
Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter vs. Cesaro w/ Paul Heyman
Cesaro wins while Paul Heyman grabs the moustache of Zeb Colter.
Cody Rhodes w/ Goldust vs. Alberto Del Rio
ADR make Cody Rhodes tap out with his crossarmbreaker.
Alexander Rusev w/ Lana vs.Xavier Woods w/ R-Truth
Alexander Rusev is about to defeat the hapless Xavier Woods in the opening 30 seconds but R-Truth come to his help and teams with Woods to get rid of Rusev. Alexander Rusev wins by disqualification.
Los Matadores w/ El Torito vs. 31/2MB
Heath Slater got the pin. It’s a miracle! 3MB WON!
Stephanie McMahon apologizes to Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan came out with his sexy wife Brie Bella. Wow! Brie Bella is so fuckin’ sexy! Daniel Bryan says that Stephanie is full of crap. Stephanie looks sincere when she apologizes but she probably isn’t.
Divas Champion Paige vs. Brie Bella w/ Daniel Bryan
A no-contest. The match is interrupted by Kane entrance. Kane merges from underneath the ring having the same idea as me, trying to bring Brie Bella with him. But Brie barely escapes… Daniel Bryan hits Kane between the eyes with a monkey wrench. However the indestructible Kane rises up and choke slams Daniel Bryan.
The annoying and fake Stephanie McMahon trying to apologize to Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella backstage. Brie Bella yells “Get out! You bitch!” That Stephanie. That was the call of the night!
Tournament final for the #1 contender spot for the Intercontinental Championship: Rob Van Dam vs. Bad News Barrett
Bad News Barrett defeats RVD thanks to the interference of Cesaro. Cesaro attacks RVD after the match then Jack Swagger came to fight with both…. Anyway, Bad News Barrett will face Big E this Sunday at Extreme Rules for the Intercontinental title.
|Ric Flair returns on Raw. Will he be in Evolution?|
Roman Reigns w/ The Shield vs. Randy Orton w/ Evolution
31 World Championships between these three. Now with Ric Flair in the ring, that’s 47 world titles. Yes Ric Flair make a very pointless apparation supporting… The Shield then returns to the dressing room??? All that hype for nothing?!?
All hell break loose outside the ring! A no-contest or a DQ win for The Shield?!? Evolution trashed and destroyed The Shield but… miraculously, The Shield managed to do an unlikely comeback and kicked Evolution’s asses out of the ring???